Having More Time
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Busy people often complain, "I just don't have enough time." In an effort to "make more time" they strive harder to "create free time" for themselves. Some may even take a "Time-Management" (an oxymoron) course and learn myths like "time is money," or "you'll have more time if..."Symptoms of the not-enough-time syndrome may include: checking your "to-do list" more than once a day, feeling harried or rushed in general, thinking about three other actions you are going to take while performing one, losing contact with friends, neglecting family relationships, becoming consumed by your work, constantly "on the go," judging the quality of your life by how much you accomplish, believing there is no end to improvement, always meeting deadlines, etc.
Time is a concept in your mind! Nothing more. Nothing material. Nothing quantifiable or measurable. Nothing moving. Nothing tangible. Nothing manageable. Time does not exist anywhere in the universe. Time is a thought, an idea, living only in your head. If you want to manage your time better, manage your thinking differently. You want to have more time? Change your habitual behavior patterns. You want to have more money? Change the nature and quality of your personal relationships. (I have yet to observe time sign a check or give anyone money.)
Here are some suggestions for changing your thinking habits and behavior habits regarding the concept of time.
Simplify your lifestyle.
Understand that boredom is not the same as peace. Boredom can be the gateway to inner peace. Inactivity is the counterbalance to hyperactivity in the cycle of life. Since you may not be aware of how unnecessarily complicated your lifestyle has become, ask a friend to tell you a half-dozen things you can do to immediately simplify your life. Simplicity requires less energy to manipulate, change, fix if broken, or let go.
Practice your strengths and delegate your weaknesses.
Most of us spend an inordinate amount of attention and behavior practicing our weaknesses under the mistaken belief that we will thereby strengthen them. Even if we succeed, we end up with very average weaknesses...not strengths. Engage in those behaviors that you're really good at. Focus on strengthening your personal talents, gifts, abilities, and strengths. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Identify your weaknesses. Create a job description of them. Then assign the job/outcome to others who are really good at them. That way you both are practicing your strengths. It is a much more efficient and effective way to accomplish anything.
Realize that who you are is much more important than what you do.
Focus your attention on addressing your needs. Abandon: all addictions, all self-imposed responsibilities for things over which you have no control or power, all inflated sense of importance and indispensability, all toxic relationships, all regrets and resentments over past events, and all sense of permanence or immortality. When you let these things go, you broaden your sense of freedom (free time).
Develop healthier habits.
Never focus on "getting rid of" an old habit. Rather, practice new ones...one at a time. Never try to change the thousands of habits you already have. It takes 21 days to firmly develop a new habit. Focus on replacing old habits with new ones, which work better for you.
Develop reserves.
Finally, develop reserves of energy, money, love, space, and yes, time, by extending your boundaries. Reserves are created when we limit their expenditure. Make a list of the 10 things you do during your average week which you do not like to do. Stop doing them for a week and see if indeed, the feared catastrophe occurs. Learn to comfortably say things like: "No; I'd prefer not to, no thank you, I choose not to, I'm not going to...no, really...NO!"
I think everyone has the same amount of time. How you think, feel and behave, and most importantly, how you relate, determines whether or not you think you have enough of it.
| About the author: Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. has 30+ years experience as a life coach and licensed psychologist. He is available for coaching in any area presented in "Practical Psychology." Initial coaching sessions are free. Contact him: (970) 568-0173 or email: DrLloyd@CreatingLeaders.com or LJTDAT@aol.com. Dr. Thomas is a licensed psychologist, author, speaker, and life coach. He serves on the faculty of the International University of Professional Studies. He recently co-authored (with Patrick Williams) the book: "Total Life Coaching: 50+ Life Lessons, Skills and Techniques for Enhancing Your Practice...and Your Life!" (W.W. Norton 2005) It is available at your local bookstore or on Amazon.com. |
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